Communication is the backbone of a good relationship, and one of the main qualities of a good communicator is being a good listener. Follow these tips to ensure that you become a great listener in all…
Communication is the backbone of a good relationship, and one of the main qualities of a good communicator is being a good listener. Follow these tips to ensure that you become a great listener in all of your relationships:
· Take yourself out of the equation. This is not the time to talk, especially about yourself. You’re there to listen to what they have to say and hear them talk about themselves. So resist the temptation to relate everything back to yourself or talk about how you went through the exact same thing. It’s not about you.
· Put away distraction. Listen with your whole body. This means paying attention to your body language. Turn and face them, turn off your phone, stop looking at the TV, etc. These things all add up to show that you’re really listening.
· Eye contact. Making good eye contact when you’re in a conversation with someone shows that you’re really listening to them. When you look into their eyes it shows that you’re paying attention and taking their feelings seriously.
· Let them know that you’re listening. Set the tone for the conversation by saying something like, “I’m all ears”, or, “I’m listening, you can talk to me about anything”.
· Stop thinking about solutions. Sometimes people just want to talk and have someone listen. They don’t want you to give them a list of solutions or action items when they’re done. And if you’re busy focusing on what advice to give them, you’re not really listening. Just let them talk without worrying about solving the problem or having to give them any advice.
· Ask questions. This shows that you’re not simply listening but that you’re involved in what they’re saying. Asking questions shows that you’re interested and curious and want to really understand what they’re talking about.
· Respect their feelings even if you disagree. If they’re saying something that you have a different opinion on, save arguing your point for another time, or at least until they’re finished. Being a good listener means that you don’t interrupt to argue your side of things. Listen to what they’re saying and respect the fact that they’re entitled to their feelings.
· Ask them how they feel. Take your listening skills to the next level by asking them how a certain situation makes them feel. Instead of just hearing the facts, you’ll open up a more intimate conversation when you ask how something made them feel.